Kiss Dating Goodbye

Where I am, you can kiss dating goodbye. Actually, leave out the kissing too. Dating here is strictly for the rebels and while there IS dating, it’s only on the hush and the parents (no matter how old you are) would flip if they discovered this contraband romance. And we’re not even talking about kissing. It happens but only closest friends would know about it. So why note this? Because I keep cracking up in my class since we’re using a British grammar book and it only references dating and kissing every other page. You should see the looks of consternation as they organize the WHEN/time placement relationship sequence:
a. Jane and John meet
b. Jane and John chat
c. Jane and John date
d. Jane and John kiss
e. Jane and John meet each other’s parents
f. Jane and John get engaged
g. Jane and John get married
h. Jane and John have children

And this is the R rating here. So, to make it more culturally applicable, I usually (as I’m attempting to smoother my laughter the whole time as I do so) switching things up to make it work thus:

e. Jane and John’s parents meet each other.
a. Jane and John meet
b. Jane and John chat (with the family present)
f. Jane and John get engaged
g. Jane and John get married
h. Jane and John have children

Hmm. I don’t think d. or c. ever come into the picture here. Even married couples don’t hold hands which really irritates the married Americans here. The men gripe that they can’t hold their wives hands but it’s kind of the same thing as walking down the street holding onto each other’s tooshies. Keep the hand-holding in the bedroom folks. Yet, to be fair, there ARE some love matches but that’s not the norm. To be fair, many apparent love matches in the States don’t look like love either. So perhaps it’s a wash.

On the lighter side, (in theory) you can hang out with someone of the opposite sex but never alone. However, a girl should always have another girl with her when she’s with her guy friend—even if they are in a public place. This is because of the parents, not because they are going to do anything and some of the younger people like my friends find this exasperating. I have three guy friends that I would really love to hang out with (I’ve been invited out to places with them), guys that I really like but just see as friends (two are Muslim) but I can’t because of the culture and, because I’m an American, I have to be ULTRA conservative—not my forte as anyone who knows my rambunctious nature would attest. So how do girls get out? If their momma isn’t with them, simply stated, they don’t. Every night is guys night out and every night is girls night in. All they do is watch American films and television after 6 pm but then again, all the guys do is drink chai and avoid their families. I’m so glad that the American men that live here, who understand the culture and could attempt to get away with being crappy husbands don’t act like average Joe here. They date their wives and watch the kids, do the laundry and try to be good men of God. Meanwhile, husbandless, aside from going over to my friend’s house for the evening with his family, this cat has hung her hat. I’ve kissed dating goodbye. And kissing. For now.

TO BE CONTINUED ;)